Sniff... Sniff... What's That Smell?

AKA My New Colleauge Has An IQ And Common Sense of A Turd.

I wonder where an employer fished this one out? That yellowish and brownish stained corner of the wall? A hole in the ground?

Ok, peeps. Here's a guide on how to spot one or be one:

1. Stinks.
2. Doesn't pay attention during training.
3. Listens to music during training.
4. Looks at everywhere but the training material.
5. Too slow to follow.
6. Doesn't stop you if it thinks you are going too fast during training.
7. Expects you to repeat what you have just taught 1231639142345 times.
8. Doesn't take notes.
9. Takes down notes that only it can understands.
10. It can't even understand it's own notes.
11. Mumbling in turd language.
12. Messaging in turd language.
13. Everyday during lunch times it would asks you to help it buy food.
14. Expecting you to do it's job.
15. Expecting you to remind it to do it's job.
16. Can't find an email in the Inbox even there's a find function.
17. Clicks everywhere on the screen for no good reason.
18. Clicks on and off the system for numerous time when it's suppose to do it's work.
19. Thinks itself to be the fastest thing in the universe that the system couldn't even match it's speed.
20. Pretends to surf the company intranet site.
21. Pretends to understand the words on the company intranet site.
22. Pretends to be helpful... by bringing you tea/drinks from the pantry.
23. Makes mistakes when it's just required to just copying and pasting.
24. Repeats the same mistakes.
25. Repeats the same mistakes by 10 times.
26. Repeats the same mistakes by 10 times in 6 hours.
27. Never learn from it's own mistakes.
28. Pissing it's own colleague off.
29. Pissing it's own team leader off.
30. Pissing it's own manager off.
31. Blaming every thing and everyone for it's own mistakes.
32. Blaming others for reporting it's own mistakes.
33. Blaming others for reporting it's own careless mistakes.
34. Blaming others for reporting it's own stupid mistakes.
35. Doesn't know it's own critical condition.
36. Doesn't know it's digging it's own grave.
37. Doesn't know it's stepping into it's own grave.
38. Doesn't know it's moving it's own coffin into it's own grave.
39. Doesn't know it's closing it's own coffin lid with itself in it's own grave.
40. Doesn't know it's pushing up Daisies from it's own grave.
41. Getting fired in less than a month of being in the company.
42. Begs for another chance.
43. Promise you it would make less mistakes.
44. Promise you it would make half of it's mistakes.
45. Can't promise you it wouldn't make any more mistakes.
46. Begs the team leader to fight for it.
47. Thinks it still has a fighting chance when the one month notice has been served.
48. Thinks it's still not too late.
49. Still doesn't know it's own situation it's in.
50. Watches High School Muscial 2 vid clips and messaging to similar turd friends when it's suppose to do it's job.
51. Likes High School Musical.

Ok, I was being sarcastic about no.51.

... Would a turd even realise it's about to get flush?