How To Recognise/Identify People In Your Mobile Phone Address Book

I haven't been properly updating my blog in quite a while. Recently, either they have been memes or some silly lil updates like "ZOMG the opening damn 7 cun!".

So, with a warm mug of coffee in hand... IKUZO!



A word of warning first: Childish name calling post ahead! Stop reading if you are easily offended by it! Yes, you! You with the Tripple Cheese Burgers in each hand, STOP!



With that disclaimer out of the way, here we go. I've been checking my mobile phone address book, and this is what I find (names are not real for privacy purpose):

Tung 012-XXblablayouthinkiwouldputrealnumbermeh
Stella 019-XXblablayouthinkiwouldputrealnumbermeh
Ah Fatt Kor 013-namealsonotrealwheregotrealnumber
Mr. Mukur 012-lalajiakbabui

To tell the truth, I'm quite bad in keeping in touch with quite a number of friends/acquaintances/ex-colleagues. My reaction's basically, "WHOTF ARE THESE PEOPLE?!". So, I've come up with some ways to recognise/identify these poor sods whom I've met but seldom contacted them.

The First Way: pretty much standard. Assign serial numbers on these people. For example, "Tung (2311967)". As if! Since I'm numerically insensitive, this idea was shot down as soon as I thought of it.


The Second Way: since humans usually recognise a person mostly based on that person's physical traits. Be it a big nose, big ass... it's how the brain works. Say:

Tung "CB face"
Stella "HOT DANG AWOOOOGA!"
Ah Fatt Kor "Jackie Chan's nose"
Mr. Mukur "Waist that looked like 3 Big Macs stack on top of each other"

Good, but too many people have too many similar physical traits.


The Third Way: Nicknames! Nicknames! Who doesn't have a nickname? Some might have only one, some might have several. If they don't have it, heck! Give em one in your address book!

Tung "Stupid Crab"
Stella "大波怪"
Ah Fatt Kor "Dumb FFF"
Mr. Mukur "LCLY"

Giggles inducing, but life endangering.

A Dude: "Hey Dude, do you have Tung's number? I kinda lost it"
B Dude: "Wait ah, wait ah..."
*press press press*
B Dude: "Here you go."
A Dude: "Ok Thanks! Tung... Stupid... Crab... 012..."



The Fourth way: The one I'm using now. Basically just include where or how you met them. A colleague? Simple! Just put the company name, "Evil Empire". A Net friend? "Net" lor! Met through blogging? "blogger"!

Tung "blogger"
Stella "Hooters"
Ah Fatt Kor "444 Insurance Co."
Mr. Mukur "Big Green Dude"


That's it! The fourth way basically solved my problem. Hope it does for you too.